It's your choice
“I threw the brick because no one else would stop...” Tears were dripping down the boys chin as he pointed around the parked car.
“It’s my brother,” he said. “He rolled off the curb and fell out of his wheelchair and I can’t lift him.”
Sobbing, the boy asked, “Would you please help me get him back into his wheelchair? He’s hurt and he’s too heavy for me.”
Moved beyond words, the driver tried to swallow the rapidly swelling lump in his throat. He lifted the young man back into the wheelchair and took out his handkerchief and wiped the scrapes and cuts, checking to see that everything was going to be okay.
“Thank you and God bless you,” the grateful child said to him.
The man then watched the little boy push his brother down the sidewalk toward their home. It was a long walk back to his Jaguar....a long, slow walk.
He never did repair the side door. He kept the dent to remind him not to go through life so fast that someone has to throw a brick at you to get your attention.
~Anonymous (adapted)
As much as teachers love their classrooms, they do not think of it as a Jaguar. Perhaps more like a Ford or a VW Bug. But they treat it as their own, to care for, nurture, and make safe, wanting everything to be good for everyone.
Things happen.
Imagine a teacher in her first year. In the middle of a lesson, a student punches another student. Hard. Mirroring the executive’s reaction to the brick thrown at his Jaguar, without thinking she shouts, “Go to the office, now, Bobby, now!” She adds, add, “You are a disgrace!” She is rattled, hardly able to get back on track. Her students see her differently and perhaps will for several days, possibly longer. Unfortunate.
But upon reflection, she begins to perceive the student in another way. Perhaps he is camouflaging his life, hiding deep trauma. His sudden burst of anger may have come from that deeper place, a place of pain and despair. She knows now to step back. Take a breath. Wait to quell the moment, then respond calmly with compassion––only to take strong action when necessary.
As a teacher you watch students enter your sanctuary; you may want to see your room to be that. As they amble to their seats, some appear calm; others restless, You let the buzz run; they have little time to talk among themselves, phones often the culprit. One day, you sense something’s up, a possible brick about to be thrown. Instead of launching into your lesson, you choose to sit at an empty desk near the middle of the room and calmly ask: “What’s on your minds today?”
Perhaps someone was about to throw a brick. You are prepared. You appear as if all will be fine. That’s the only way to be at this moment. We all could take that stance.
“Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forward” (Kierkegaard)
I write to bring ideas and methods from my life as a teacher in the latter half of the 20th century to help teachers and the public to “live forward” in this century. My latest book, Teacher in the Rye: Doing It My Way is available on Amazon. And I welcome comments here on my Blog or by email at frankthoms3@gmail.com.
